Dear Cuppie Cake,
I wanted to write you another letter...I like doing it, I believe I'll write to you every once in a while. Mommy started school this week. It made me think of how I wanted to take you to your first day of school. I already planned on how I was going to fix your hair and what your outfit would look like :) I was so worried while you were in my belly about how I was going to manage classes, work and taking care of you. I thought about taking you to class with me, it made me cry just to think of me leaving you to go to school and to work. Then I thought about how much of a germaphobe I am and how college campuses are filthy dirty! I'm sorry sweety but mommy would have had you living in a bubble!!!
I miss you so much, I talk to you all the time and I hope that God lets you hear me. I know though that you are in heaven so immersed in God and His Glory. I hope that God tells you how much you were loved here. I'm sure that the flies on the wall think I'm just a crazy woman telling you all about my day or my classes or about how much I love your daddy. I go in your room, and although you never got to use any of the things we had ready for you, it still reminds me of you. I look through your clothes and think of what you would be wearing at the moment, wishing I would have gotten to see you wiggle around in it.
Your daddy misses you like crazy as well. He wanted so bad to take you places and do things with you. He wanted you as soon as we were married, he was wanting you to be a honeymoon baby, I think he's wanted to be a daddy as long as he can remember! I do believe you would have been a daddy's girl. Your daddy has this way of "wooing". It's impossible not to love him. I wanted to see you run to his arms after he got home from work, and I couldn't wait for him to teach you how to fish...he said that he was going to teach you to bait your own hook...mommy is a wuss and daddy always has to do it for me!
I was thinking the other day about how I wanted to tell you all the bible stories just like my mom did with me. Then I thought, God has to be a better story teller than me, He was there! I can just see him telling you about Noah and the Ark, he probably puts in some pretty good sound effects, or even lets you see the giraffes and elephants first hand. Yep, I'm 100% sure his version of the story is better than mine :)
I miss you cuppie cake, and I love you beyond what words can say.
Love always,
Mommy
I pray for you and Andrew often. I only hope that one day I will be able to find a husband like Andrew. I can't promise that God will send you another child but He will bless you beyond measures. I love you Ryanita! I have shared your blog with so many others, as a witness. I've always heard the worse thing that could happen to a mother is to loose her child.....well that happened to you, and you have took this "negative" and turned it into a wonderful opportunity to share Jesus with others. You are so strong and I am so proud of you. I can't wait until another post comes out, I look forward to them, like a bible study of some sort. God has a plan for you and Andrew and it's obvious you are laying your life down for Him. I love you and I hope to see you soon
ReplyDeleteKristin
Thank you Kristin!!!! I'm glad you are sharing it with everyone!!!!! I'll pray for you as well, and I'm so glad you like it! I really do want to catch up with you sometime! Maybe one day we can meet up for some chicken n dumplin's :)
ReplyDeleteThis post was super awesome! It brightened my day to see the love you have for your child. I also like the way you described God reading Noah's Ark to Paisly. We are so blessed to know that we too will someday be able to experience it like she is. God bless!
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the look on the little faces when God sits them don for story time?? And when He does show them the animals, how huge they must seem to them? I can't wait to get there and hold little Logan and tell him just how much we missed and loved him. Although I'm sure my love does not compare to that of Jesus! Thanks for your blog. It inspires me each time I read it. Keep on pushing Ryan!!
ReplyDeleteHeather