My God

**Let me first say...I am by no means a preacher, pastor or anything of the type, I am only a woman who is trying to be obedient to his call**

I'm going to be honest... I don't like sharing things that are very personal to me over the internet. It makes you feel vulnerable, like everyone knows everything about you, even when they don't know you. God has been laying on my heart for a while now to share this post and to be honest I've been putting it off. I feel like God wants me to share this story, I don't know why or what the purpose of it is but I trust my Lord and I know he is going to use it for someone or something.

On June 13th, exactly one week before we found that Paisly no longer had a heartbeat, Andrew's pawpaw Bobby passed away. His body had been eaten with cancer. Let me take you back two weeks earlier, actually let me tell you about Bobby before. Now I've only been married to Andrew for 4 years in september but Andrew and his family have told me stories. Bobby wouldn't set foot in a church, he didn't want preachers visiting him at home trying to witness to him. It was just an unspoken rule that you didn't even try talking to Bobby about the Lord because you would get nowhere. Bobby was put in the hospital and was told that he had kidney and lung cancer and had a bleeding brain tumor. Two weeks before Bobby passed, Andrew's great aunt Marie and her family(who live in New Bern) came to visit Bobby while he was in the hospital. After he was discharged to go home Marie and EJ started to leave to go home to New Bern. After they left Marie felt like they needed to go to Bobby and Becky's home because she wanted to talk to Bobby one more time about Jesus and His love for us. That day Bobby took Jesus into his heart. When Lori, Andrew's mom called me to tell me the news, I had just gotten out of class and was on my way to my car. After I got off the phone with her I just sat in my car and cried. You could feel the difference in him just by stepping into their home. He was a different person. I thank God for telling Marie and EJ to turn around that day, and I thank Marie for being obedient to his call. That's what this post is about, being obedient to God's calling.

Andrew and I both have accepted Jesus to be our Lord and Saviour. I was only 6 years old and had just gotten home from church one wednesday night when I asked my parents about being saved and God living in my heart. That night they led me to the Lord, and I completely understood what I was doing and who my God was. Andrew was 13 when he accepted Jesus at a Wild's camp one summer. Although we both had accepted Jesus, we were nowhere near the Christians that we needed to be. After we saw the work God did in Bobby's life it started to change both Andrew and I. We saw that if God could change a stubborn old man in one afternoon that we could change as well. We started praying together more, and starting to form a closer relationship with God.Although it had only been one week I could already tell a difference in myself, in Andrew and in our relationship together with God. Then Paisly went to be with the Lord.

This is the part I dread to tell. I was so angry with God. I'm the type of person that needs answers for any and everything. It was so easy to tell myself that what had happened to Bobby was so that he could accept Jesus as his saviour and to make Andrew and I realize that we weren't where we needed to be in our spiritual walk with God. It wasn't so easy however to say this with Paisly. I was so angry with God. I was changing, I was starting to form a closer relationship with him...so what was the point of all this??? Andrew however was different, he said that so soon after Paisly passed that he had complete peace. All he kept saying was "It's in God's hands, he's in control of it all". I just wanted to scream. I felt like I had been the one closer to God and here he was having peace about it all and I was slipping farther away. It's been such a confusing time. I am so ashamed to say that it took me a long time to even bow my head in prayer. I didn't want to talk to God, he took my child from me. What I realize now...she was never MY child. She has always been God's child, just as I am His child. I would see Andrew praying and I just walked away, I was just so angry. We had a loving pastor come to our home to do grief counseling with us. He taught us so many things. He told me that no problem is too big for our God. He gave the analogy of having a large rock on your foot. You wouldn't leave that rock on your foot because it hurts. He said that we need to roll that rock off and give it to God. The rock was my sorrow and grief for Paisly. I needed to bring it straight to God. After he left Andrew and I prayed. I did what he suggested and I gave it all to God. I am so glad that I did. Since then God has shown me in countless ways how he still loves me, isn't punishing me and has such a plan that I wouldn't understand. I have prayed more since then than I ever have. I am unable to explain how my prayer life with God is...other than wonderful.

Since Bobby and Paisly have went to be with our Lord, mine and Andrew's relationship with God has grown beyond measure. I pray for us multiple times a day. I also pray for you, for anyone who reads this blog. I want to share God's love with anyone who will listen. He is so good to me, and I want you to feel that peace, that understanding, that feeling of being loved beyond understanding.

If you have yet to accept God as your Savior and are interested in His love, let me show you how:


Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin.

We were born under the power of sin's control.

- Admit that you are a sinner.



Romans 6:23a "...The wages of sin is death..."

Sin has an ending. It results in death. We all face physical death, which is a result of sin. But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity. The Bible teaches that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever. It is the place where people who are spiritually dead will remain, known as hell.

- Understand that you deserve death for your sin.



Romans 6:23b "...But the gift of God is eternal

life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Salvation is a free gift from God to you! You can't

earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it.

- Ask God to forgive you and save you.



Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His own love for us, in

that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"

When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin's penalty. He paid the price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life. He did all this because He loved us and gave Himself for us!

- Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of being a slave to sin. His love is what saves you -- not religion, or church membership. God loves you!



Romans 10:13 "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!"

- Call out to God in the name of Jesus!



Romans 10:9,10 "...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."

- If you know that God is knocking on your heart's door,

ask Him to come into your heart.



Jesus said,

Revelation 3:20a "Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..."

- Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door?



Like I said before, I am not a preacher, have never attended a bible college or any of the sort. But I have accepted God into my heart and I know how wonderful it makes me feel and how My God has done such wonderful work in my life and I can't help but share. If you followed this prayer, or just want to talk, email me (drharre2@uncg.edu) or message me on facebook and I will be more than glad to talk about it...







Love,
Ryan