How Long Has it Been

Wow...I haven't written in quite a while. I was thinking this morning that I was going make time to write today and then thought how I would start this post out. I was going to start by apologizing for not writing in so long, but I cannot apologize for that. I cannot apologize for being so consumed in the life of the blessing God has given us. I work long hours at my job then come home to spend the last hours of my day caring for Montgomery and spending time with my little family, so no apologies here.  I will however update you on our little butter bean. Andrew took her to the doctor this past friday (she has her first cold...which I hate because you can do basically nothing for an infant with a cold.) She weighed 13lbs 8oz and is 26 1/2in long. Yes I know. This child has grown 6 1/2 inches in three and a half months...really. I cannot believe how much our lives have changed by having our two little girls. I absolutely love the man my husband has become. He is a daddy. Not just a father but a Daddy who is completely wrapped around his little girl's finger. I love watching him with her, and there is no doubt that she is a complete daddy's girl. When he walks in the room and speaks her head is whipping around to find him and when she does this adorable grin takes over her whole face. I would say that I am jealous of how smitten she is to her daddy, but I cannot. I know how special it is to be a daddy's girl.

Her first halloween was wonderful, it was so much fun making her costume. I want to make that a tradition, that I make her costumes, well I want to do it as long as I can, until she wants a store bought one. I enjoy making things for her just like my mom did for me. She was a Zebra for halloween and I must say she was the most adorable Zebra I've ever seen!

Montgomery with her Nana and Paw

I can say nothing except that I cannot thank God enough for the blessing He has given us. I don't know who or where either of us would be if it weren't for Him giving us Paisly Grace and the blessing which she entailed and then to bless us again with another beautiful little girl. It is unimaginable. Andrew and I were talking last night about how we want to raise Montgomery to be a Godly child. We talked about how easy it is to cling to God in troubling times then to drift away when things are good again. After we lost Paisly it was so comforting to be so close to God and now that we have Montgomery we want to stay that close to Him. We want to set the example to Montgomery that we need to have a close relationship with God not only in troubled times but during good times as well. I'll leave you with some more pictures of our little Montgomery and some from this years 'Walk to Remember'.

Andrew and I at the walk

Serious face

Before church last Sunday

Daddy's girl

I know I've said this a million times but I'll say it again. He has blessed us so much with our two girl and He is SO good :)



1 Samuel 1:27

Tears came to my eyes this morning as our photographer posted a collage on facebook of Montgomery's pictures with a verse under it.

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him:
1 Samuel 1: 27

Wow...how fitting is that?! Countless nights, from the time we got married Andrew and I prayed together that if it were the Lord's will that we have a child. In November 2009 we found that after going through many years of trying and fertility treatments that He had blessed us with a child. How great is He? Since the time I was a little girl I have wanted to be a mother. I would make lists and lists of children's names for my future kids. I had thoughts of what I wanted to be career wise; but my dream above anything else...was to be a mother. I pictured myself rocking a precious baby to sleep, kissing scraped knees and playing for hours on end with them in our big green picket fenced yard. That day (Thanksgiving '09) I was so thrilled to see that positive sign. The Lord answered our prayers.

After Paisly passed, I had mixed emotions about having more children. I knew any pregnancy from there on out would be so stressful and I would worry. Andrew and I had many talks about having more children. I think he wanted children more than I did, and I didn't think that was possible. We decided to start trying again. I thought that it would take way longer than it did because of how long it took us to get pregnant the first time. I was wrong. I took a test on thanksgiving day...I thought maybe it would be a tradition :)
It was negative so I went on with the days festivities and thought nothing else of it. That Saturday I just felt that I needed to take another test. So in the Lowe's hardware bathroom I peed on that tiny stick. I have never prayed as hard as I did then. I think I prayed for 10 minutes straight. I would start to end my prayer and then I would start right back up. When I finally looked at that stick and saw 2 pink lines... I just closed my eyes and prayed some more thanking my wonderful God for his blessings.

He has blessed us with two beautiful girls. Although Paisly isn't here with us, she is still such a blessing. I say 'is' not 'was' because to this day she is nothing but a blessing. If it weren't for her I wouldn't be where I am with God today.

I went to my bible and looked up that verse and kept reading. Verse 28 says "Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there".

Montgomery is His child.
Paisly is His child.
I am His child.

Thank you Hannah for sharing that with me.

Our Box

I don't even have to look to know what is in there. I've looked so many times I know it by heart.
It is baby blue and comes together with a tied silk ribbon.
Our box consists of:
-small pink card stock with her tiny foot prints
-the patient/doctor name card that was on our door
-A note that was placed on our door so that the staff would know that I was going home empty handed. It has a poem on the back and a picture of a leaf on the front.
-The CD that has all of her natural pictures on it
-A tiny pink crotchet toboggan and matching blanket
-Her cupcake outfit and bow (which we had planned to bring her home in)
-The hat the hospital puts on babies as soon as they are born...you know those ugly ones that looks like a piece of cloth tied together with a string at the top
-Three matching hospital bracelets which none of us ever got to wear
-A wisp of her black curls
-a measuring tape
-Her Obituary
On the inside of the top flap there is an insert that states:
Paisly Grace Davenport
June 21, 2010 @ 7:26am
4lbs. 9oz.
18 1/2 inches long
chest- 10 1/2 inches
Head- 11 1/2 inches


That's it. That is all I was given at the hospital when Paisly Grace was born. While there we had to decide what funeral home we were going to use so that they could come pick up her lifeless body that afternoon. Usually when you go through 15 hours of labor you are given a birth certificate right? We weren't. Usually when you have to pick a funeral home, then pick a casket that seems too small to even fit a stuffed animal inside of, you get a death certificate, right? We weren't. On paper, our daughter doesn't exist. How is that? I had to pay all those hospital and doctor's bills from when she was delivered. I have a bill that states I was in a labor/delivery room and was given medicine to ease the pain of labor. We paid a funeral home and a monument company to make her headstone. Yet I have neither a birth or death certificate. Although our beautiful daughter lived only in my womb, she still lived and died. I believe this needs to be recognized as such. Please be one to help change the laws so NC moms that have to give birth to their sleeping babies can have some acknowledgment that their baby's life matters.
Please go to this link and sign the petition
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/3/certificate-of-birth-resulting-in-stillbirth-in-north-carolina/

I would love to have something other than a little blue box that states that our daughter existed.

Three Weeks

Today Montgomery is three weeks old...where did these last three weeks go?! They have went by so fast! Montgomery is growing quickly, she looks different every day. She also does something new every day and I just love watching her grow.

I was so excited this last Sunday, we took Montgomery to her first church service. She did well, other than getting a little fussy because she was hungry. I believe she is going through a growth spurt; she is cluster feeding like crazy. That day she ate every hour most of the day, which can be extremely tiring! I was so happy to take her to church. I pray every night that Andrew and I are the parents that God wants us to be.  I feel that it is very important to be a good testimony, but I feel even stronger when it comes to Montgomery. I not only want to teach her about God and how good He is, but I want her to see me live it. I look at her all day and I can't help but think how can anyone not believe in God after seeing such a miracle...a beautiful miracle at that. I especially think about how much God has blessed us and I want her to see that as well. I want her to know how God blessed us with her older sister Paisly and how much she changed our lives and how God blessed us with her. I can't express how thankful I am that God has blessed us with our two beautiful girls and I want her to see that.

A comment left on my last post made me so happy...Montgomery is constantly smiling in her sleep and someone posted that when infants sleep and dream they are dreaming of playing with angels and that maybe she was dreaming about Paisly. I love that...when she is dreaming and smiling now I just imagine her and Paisly playing together.  I'm looking at her now laying beside me and she is smiling...so big. It is so adorable first she'll do a little grin then will break out into a full blown cheesy smile. I love it.

Our Little Blessing

I need someone to invent two things for me....
-something to slow down time
-a bubble for me to put Montgomery in to keep all the germs away.

I knew I would be bad with the germs but its worse than I thought. I just can't stand the thought of anything that is not clean and pure being around her and time seems to be flying by! I mean Wednesday will be TWO WEEKS!!! It is amazing how much they change day by day. She does not at all look like the same baby I gave birth to.

Her birth by the way...piece of cake. I told Andrew that if all our children's births were as physically easy as Paisly's and Montgomery's I wouldn't mind having many more. We went to the doctor as scheduled on July 12th at 10am. I had an amniocentesis to check her lung development. We knew that we would hear the results by 5pm that day to see if her lungs were mature enough for me to be induced that night. Time went by so slow that day. Finally...at 4:45 they called and let us know that her lungs were mature and we were to be at the hospital that night to be induced at 7:15. The time between the phone call and leaving for the hospital went by slowly as well. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I was ready to meet Montgomery but I was scared of how labor would go. They gave me medicine that night to start labor which wasn't bad, I slept till morning. The doctor came in that morning at 7:30 to break my water and start the pitocin, that made my contractions hard and strong. After I got my epidural I was in heaven...whoever thought of that idea is my new best friend. To make a long story short...I pushed maybe twice and Montgomery arrived at 12:21pm.

She is such a blessing. I can't thank God enough for all He has done for us. I could sit here all day and stare at her...basically I do which is why it has taken me so long to write this post! She amazes me with all she does as young as she is. She picks her head up and turns it to look around. My favorite thing is the many...many faces she makes in her sleep. She constantly smiles in her sleep...

I was scared of how I would feel about Paisly after Montgomery was born. I knew what I was missing in theory with Paisly and I thought that having Montgomery would make me know for certain what I never got to experience. I was right. I see everything I get to do with Montgomery and wonder how it would have been with Paisly but I'm not as upset about it as I thought I would be. It is still emotional because I'm seeing Montgomery grow already and I can't help but wonder how Paisly would have grown. I've prayed for God to give me peace about it and He has. I keep reminding myself that Paisly was part of His plan and so is Montgomery.  I just can't help but feel so blessed. God has given me two beautiful daughters. Although Paisly isn't here with us I still feel so blessed to have had her and I don't know what God has in store for us with Montgomery but I know that He knows and I trust Him and His plan.

Montgomery Ashlyn

Just wanted to announce that Montgomery Ashlyn was born!!!
She was born at 12:21pm on July 13th weighing in at 6lbs 6oz and 20 inches long.
I'll post more later, but for now I want to enjoy our little blessing :)



Dear Montgomery

To my Little Sister,

I will be your Guardian Angel

to help Mommy and Daddy watch over you,

because if you are like our Daddy

a lot of trouble you'll be getting into.

I'm sorry I cannot be there to hold your tiny hand.

God needed me in heaven, one day you'll understand.

Sisters forever is what we will be

and one day in heaven you'll get to meet me.

Until that day comes, on earth you will stay

and I will be there with you on your journey along the way.

Love,

Your Big Sister

Paisly Grace