cupcake

This week I've really had to lean on God. I don't know why but it's been a hard week. I think it all started with halloween and seeing all the babies in their costumes so cute and cuddly. We were going to dress Paisly up as a cupcake, I looked while I was pregnant for a costume (if you know me, you know I'm a super planner, and don't like being unprepared!). I couldn't find one, but I was going to make one myself, she was going to be topped with sprinkles and everything! I think I have been letting my mind wonder more, about the last few days I was pregnant and thinking about what I should have done or could have done to prevent things. I know deep down that it was God's plan to bring Paisly home soon all along and that no matter what I did, going to the hospital the day before or whatever wouldn't have stopped that plan; but that's the imperfect Christian coming out.

Our devotions this week have really helped too, they always do. Although they are a couple's devotion it has really brought many things into perspective that has to do with the loss of our Paisly Grace. This week is about encouragement and the questions at the end of the devotions we ask each other made me realize so many things. I love my husband and I know many of you know that but I want to publicly say that my husband is the most loving, caring, sincere, encouraging and supportive man I've ever known. Not meaning to sound sappy but he is. I know that if it weren't for his encouragement during the past few months, I would be curled up in a ball in the corner of my room. We've been talking a lot this week about what God wants us to do for him. We think so much about what we should do that benefits us but we want to do something that is selfless and 100% for God. We have a few ideas, it's just getting to them is the challenge but we will do whatever God leads us to do. It's so different how much my mind has opened after all that has happened. Before I was a Christian but I though going through the motions was enough. I feel so much like God has opened my eyes to who I need to be. I've found if I just listen and quit thinking about what I want, God will lead us to do whatever it is in his plan for us. We just have to follow.

Ok, so I FINALLY am putting up the picture with me and Angie :)



aside from my puffy red eyes and nose, it wasn't a bad picture, I should have thought to ask Todd to be in the pic tho ;)
Have a good week and keep praying for us


love, Ryan